A: Your late husband was your baby's father. In untangling your tale, my reading is that that you were married to your late husband, you cheated and became pregnant, your husband knew, but he stepped up and claimed paternity. I'm sure readers better versed in family law will chime in, but my understanding is that in such a situation your husband would be considered your son's legal father and no adoption procedure was necessary. He also was your boy's father in every other sense. Yes, you will have quite a story to tell your son when he's older, and I believe he is entitled to hear it. (When you do bring this up, you can put the best face on the fact that your husband, his father, loved him and wanted to raise him, and not cast his origin story as that his biological father was a slime. ) But I don't think your late husband's parents need to hear this. Of course they see similarities between your son and theirs. It may be that both boys were confident and verbal, so their observation is correct. In any case, seeing such connections is natural and there's no reason to disabuse them of this. Keeping up a connection to your son's paternal family surely will only benefit him?he's not going to get anything from his actual biological father. And I don't see any reason to deprive your child of a potential inheritance. There has already been enough loss in your little boy's life. There's no call to cause an estrangement with loving grandparents; it's not deceptive that their son was your son's father. And some night, after you tuck your boy into bed, watch the excellent film, The Painted Veil.
Source: http://feeds.slate.com/click.phdo?i=041ee00d0ed41aaf359c107642116174
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